I’m not one of those bloggers that starts off posts by being witty and telling stories about themself, their husband or their kids. I love those bloggers and I love how they can so easily share their lives with the world. I’m more of a technical blogger. I get down to the nitty gritty and tell you about what I’m making and how I made it. I’m a private person.
Today I want to break away from the technical cookie side of myself and get to the private and personal side. I want to share with you a struggle that I have had in my life for nearly two years now. I have been suffering from chronic pain off and on for almost two years. The main source of my pain is in my right wrist which is my dominant hand but I also get pains in other parts of my body off and on. The wrist pain is pretty much constant and that may be due to the fact that I type all day at my full-time job so it doesn’t get much rest.
I began a quest almost a year and a half ago to find out what was causing my pain. Naturally, given the line of work I’m in, I immediately thought I had carpal tunnel. I went through all the testing only to be told that I did not have carpal tunnel. My x-rays showed some inflammation so they referred me to a rheumatologist. I had several blood tests but they all came back negative. I was told that I had immflamatory arthritis and was given pills to treat it. After taking the pills for several weeks I began to feel even worse than I did when I went in. I was experiencing pains all over my body as well as dizziness, nausea and brain fog. I decided to stop taking the medication and go see my doctor. I believed that I was having an allergic reaction to the medication. The doctor said that I wasn’t allergic to the medication. She said it was just symptoms of my disease and she switched me to another medication. Again, I started to feel really sick on this new medication. I decided to stop taking the medication and see a new doctor.
I really liked the new doctor because he never prescribed me any medication. He said that he did not prescribe medication unless he knew what he was treating a person for. This was fine with me because I hate taking medication. I don’t even like to take Advil. I went through so many rounds of tests to only be told that I was a mystery. It appeared that I had symptoms of an autoimmune disorder but no test could confirm it. I saw this doctor for about a year and spent a hefty amount of money having tests done. It seemed that he was very content to have me come in every few months for the same blood tests. I also had x-rays, a couple of wrist MRI’s and a cortisone injection in my wrist done with this doctor. I finally had to decide that enough was enough and move on. I couldn’t justify going to a doctor anymore who was testing me over and over for the same thing with no positive results and no answers. I refused to be bled dry anymore, literally.
I decided to go see a pain specialist that is a client of my husband. After ten minutes of talking to him and explaining everything that had been done and said by other doctors he said that he was willing to put money on it that the problem was in my neck. He ordered an MRI and sure enough I have bulging/herniated discs in my neck. We decided to go with an epidural injection in the neck to see if the discs were indeed the cause of my wrist pain.
This past week I went in for the injection and by that afternoon the pain in my wrist was about 90% gone. The next day I was on cloud nine. I felt great and my pain was nearly 95% gone. A miracle. I finally found the right doctor and I was going to be pain free. So I thought. Sadly pain has started returning to my wrist and it scares me. I want to feel that euphoric feeling again. I want to know what it’s like to not have pain and have full mobility of my hand again. I was so excited because I was dreaming up all the future blog posts and cookies I was going to work on.
I do feel that I am finally with the right doctor because he is the only one that had a theory that had a test to back it up. Also, the injection worked but it seems to be wearing off so there may be some tweaking that needs to be done. I have faith that this doctor will help me get to a place where I can live my life without experiencing constant pain. I feel that I am on the right track. I’m also trying to be patient and not panic. There’s a chance that my body is still adjusting to the treatment and it may work.
I wanted to share this story with you not for sympathy but as a message to say that whatever is going on in your life, whether it’s medical or not, don’t give up. If you’re not satisfied or you’re not getting answers keep searching.
When I discovered cookie decorating in early 2011 I had no idea that it would become such a labor of love for me. Pretty much all the cookies, cakes and cupcakes you see on this blog have been decorated when I was having some sort of pain. I absolutely love what I do and I don’t want to give it up.
I get asked a lot if I take orders and the answer is no. I will occasionally do an order for a family member or a close friend but rarely. I had to give up taking orders because I just never know when I’m going to be feeling bad and I don’t want an order looming over my head if I’m not feeling well. These days I prefer to bake cookies for fun and teach people what I learn along the way on my journey. Baking for fun is less stressful because it allows me to do it on my time with no pressure of a deadline.
I’m not giving up on my quest to be pain free and with this new doctor I am hopeful that it will happen very soon. I’m dreaming of all the things I want to do when I feel good again.